The Desire for God

The desire for God is written in the human heart, because man is created by God and for God; and God never ceases to draw man to himself. Only in God will he find the truth and happiness he never stops searching for.”
CATECHISM OF THE CATHOLIC CHURCH, NO. 27


From this Lenten journey with http://dynamiccatholic.com/ 

What are your thorns?

Today during prayer time, I was focusing on the Sacred Heart of Jesus.  My gaze moved from His heart to His hands.  For some reason, I kept coming back to that crown of thorns around His heart.  My mind's eye saw the crown squeezing this Heart that beats for us.  He took our ills upon Himself. 

Usually, I identify with Mary at the foot of the cross.  How she must have wanted to take the pain.  The love of a parent enduring the pain of a child is a cross in itself.  But this time I couldn't dwell on that thought.  The thorns on His head, the nails in His flesh and His pierced side presented a physical pain He chose to bear...not to mention the wounds we never see in art.  But this is when I realized Jesus bore the same pain Mary bore at the foot of the cross.  He had to experience her cross too so He could help her carry it.  He took all of us unto Himself.  How our betrayals, denying, doubts and more gripped His heart.  However, that very heart loved us to His death.   That very heart still beats with love for us each day.  What are your thorns? What makes up your cross?  Have you betrayed or been betrayed?  Have you harmed another or been harmed?  Have you neglected or been neglected?  These questions can go on and on.  When we hurt others we are hurting Christ.  He did not know sin but took ours upon Himself.  When others hurt us, He understands.  He was innocent of all the charges, but He still received punishment. 

This is why a cross with Christ is too much to bear.  He has shown us that, with Him, we can get up again and again.  He has shown us when the cross comes to us, we can go through it.  This is how He has loved us to death.  The difference is when He took the cross darkness was all that greeted Him.  For us, he went forward alone so we wouldn't have to ever be alone.  He is the light in our darkness.   He has loves us to death by bringing us to life.

Lord, may we carry our cross with you, and when we see others struggling with their cross, help us to be the "Simon" in their life. 

Most Sacred Heart of Jesus, may the whole world burn with love for you! Amen

Missing Ren

Fourteen years ago, our former neighbor’s husband died.  Her students, at the time, decided she didn’t need to come home to an empty house.  So they gave her a miniature dachshund puppy and named her Ren.  I’ll never forget seeing her hold that small brown love with dark puddles for eyes.

At the same time our son decided we had to have a small black kitten.  He knew if he brought it home I wouldn’t be able to say no.  My husband and I always said we didn’t like cats.  This one fit in the palm of my hand.  His mother had died, and he was bottled raised.

When my neighbor retired she began to travel a good bit.  We had the pleasure of taking care of her sweet Ren.  That puppy and our kitten played like there was no tomorrow.   They wrestled and tumbled all over the house.  They were crazy about each other.

We eventually moved and shortly after the move our black cat died from cancer.  But we continued to watch little Ren when her “mama” travelled.  We had another black cat, and she never understood why he wouldn’t play with her.  She climbed the cat tree in hopes he would be her friend.  It never happened so she resigned herself to playing with our outside dogs and barking at anything that was on the other side of the fence.  When she barked it sounded like, “beeeyurk.”

Not too long ago Ren had a seizure at her house.  Then she had one the last time we kept her.  But she recovered quickly both times.  Recently she did it again and didn’t recover.  The Vet said he thought she had a brain tumor.

Today Ren’s mama called to say she took her to the Vet, and held her as she slipped away.  And though I’ve already cried because I knew it was coming, I am crying again.  I am one of those who believe that love remains for eternity.  The sweet spirits we get to hug and pet stay with us because of love.  And I want to believe that somewhere a little black cat and a sweet wiener dog are playing and resting side by side…forever in our hearts.

Divine Mercy Sunday and Reconciliation

The Gospel reading for this Sunday is John 20:19-31.  And from that reading we have Jesus speaking to the Apostles. 

On the evening of that first day of the week,
when the doors were locked, where the disciples were,
for fear of the Jews,
Jesus came and stood in their midst
and said to them, “Peace be with you.”
When he had said this, he showed them his hands and his side.
The disciples rejoiced when they saw the Lord.
Jesus said to them again, “Peace be with you.
As the Father has sent me, so I send you.”
And when he had said this, he breathed on them and said to them,
“Receive the Holy Spirit.
Whose sins you forgive are forgiven them,
and whose sins you retain are retained.”

We see God “breathing” two times in Scripture.  The first is life into Adam, then again on the Apostles.  What does this signify?  Mankind is separated from his Creator through sin.  This breath brings spiritual life where one was once dead.  This is the Sacrament of Reconciliation!  Reading the Scripture above we see where Jesus gives the Apostles the authority to forgive, and not to forgive.

There are many Catholics who dodge “confession.”  I know because not only do they tell me, but when we have parish reconciliation there should be more people showing up.   The reason for dodging confession is usually traced to humbling oneself.  It is an issue of pride.  But the sad thing is the dodger is losing out.  Those who have just returned and those who go to confession regularly will tell you it is an immense grace.  The Sacraments are not something we “do” to God.  They are avenues of His grace.  After a good confession, people have said, “I feel like the world has been lifted off of my shoulders.”  Or, “I felt like I was walking on air.”  People sleep better and feel better, physically and mentally.

Here is the challenge.  Pray about going back to confession if you haven’t been in awhile.  If you are afraid ask others to pray for you.  Don’t let fear or pride stand in the way.  Tell the priest immediately that you haven’t been in a long time.  If fearful, explain that too.  He will walk you through it!

Early Christians thoughts on confession. 

http://heartfeltheartlook.blogspot.com/2010/03/some-early-church-fathers-teachings-on.html

I am certain of a few things in this life

First of all, I have not been thankful enough for the many blessings God has given throughout my life.  Every second has been one of goodness no matter what circumstance surrounded me.  He permeates my being.

Secondly, I have not taken time to know Him better.  I’m always petitioning and rarely listening.  My prayer is to know Him and love Him more and more.

Finally, I am blessed by the grace of knowing my unworthiness.  By no means am I fully aware.  It is just the beginning of a grace so desperately needed.  It is a baby step from, “I’m not so bad” to “I’m not so good.”  Now I better understand His perfection through my weakness.

Weakness ~ I am but a tiny speck floating through this world.  For some reason at times I choose a raft that leaks, an uncovered vessel.  Before me is a ship to shelter me and carry me through these storms.  It floats in an ocean of Divine Mercy, the only hope of my salvation.

Prayer of Surrender

"Take, O Lord, and receive my entire liberty, my memory, my understanding and my whole will. All that I am and all that I possess You have given me: I surrender it all to You to be disposed of according to Your will. Give me only Your love and Your grace; with these I will be rich enough, and will desire nothing more."       
                                                                                                                                                                            † Prayer of Surrender by St. Ignatius of Loyola †

Eternity, here and now

It’s one of those things where intellectually you are aware, but one day it hits the mark.  Like a lot of people, it’s easy to get into the mindset that “eternity” will happen then…somewhere in the future.  I’m not sure how it happened to me, but recently it did hit home - we are living in eternity right now.  Eternity doesn’t start with a physical death, it starts with conception.  Here we are in the midst of it, some working to make a living, some retired, some in school.  And in our free time, we’re shopping, watching TV, playing sports, etc…  Right now we are sitting, standing, walking or sleeping in eternity.  This earth is by far the short part of our journey home, and I ponder how we miss so much.  It makes me reflect on how much time I waste, stuff I don’t need and what really matters.  And I’m still distracted in knowing what God really plans for me.  Having lived over half of the average lifetime, it’s not always a calming thought.  However, there is this core feeling of peace, but I wonder, am I deceiving myself? 

By God’s generous grace, I have started relishing the time with family and friends.  The moving from one stop to the next, the getting from one place to another isn’t as important.  And when I hold my sleeping grandchild, I know that is where I’m supposed to be.  It’s the fleeting seconds of unselfishness, the momentary appreciation of the loves in life and God’s gifts that make us restless.  We know we should be focusing on eternity, not then but now.