The Third Floor Window ~ A Survivor's Story of Hope

Recently I was the recipient of a book by Colleen Spiro, titled The Third Floor Window. It is a true story and based upon Colleen’s life as a child of sexual abuse. The added heartbreak to this abuse is, it was at the hands of her father, the man who was supposed to protect her.

As someone unfamiliar with abuse, it is hard to fathom one would harm a precious child. As a person of faith it is crushing to find that child’s innocence, love and trust being violated. We are taught our bodies are temples of God, and these impure acts upon those abused are a desecration of God’s temple.

One portion of Colleen’s book is the crux of my beginning to understand. On page 72 she wondered where God was during her abuse. She sees Jesus in the corner of her bedroom, and He is crying. She saw pain and sadness on His face. It was then she knew Jesus was with her, and He knew her pain and suffering. She goes on to write it is important to her for others to understand what she’s been through. She doesn’t want to be minimized, to be alone.

And the shared suffering with Jesus, helps me see where we minimize others and desert them. When we do these things, we are doing it to Jesus too.

It’s true, only those who have similar experiences in life can relate to each other. I believe this book is significant because Colleen wants people to know the abuse still happens, and no matter how much time passes it is not something to be packed away and forgotten. It is a lifelong commitment for survivors to move forward in hope and healing.

The message I sent her after the first reading included this phrase, “…now I understand why some people don’t make it.” She responded that is what she wants her book to be about. It is not only for other victims, it is definitely for the rest of us. It is for us to see why some people deal with lack of trust, fear of rejection and questioning of friendship and love. It’s a lesson we need to remember and write on our hearts.

Finally, I still wondered why God didn’t intervene. I know there are many things that are a mystery, but I fear Our Lord will give me the following answer. “You Margaret, have not prayed enough, sacrificed enough and loved enough.” It is true; evil gets a foothold when we allow it. Why do I say this? Because we are the Body of Christ, we are His hands on earth. We are family, and we are responsible for each other. So for those reading this, please add these children and adult children to your daily prayers. Offer acts of kindness and sacrifice for them. And though it is difficult, pray for their abusers too.

Thank you Colleen for writing this book, I needed to read it and so do many others.

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Colleen Spiro is a certified spiritual director, a Benedictine Oblate and is employed as a parish secretary. She leads retreats and has written several articles that have been published in Christian magazines. Colleen lives with her husband in Florida.

Visit Surviving by Grace to learn more about Colleen and how to order The Third Floor Window.

A Parent's Lament

My children will tell you I was an overprotective mother, which is true to a certain degree. I grew up when children roamed neighborhoods, and doors were left unlocked. By the time my children were born, we heard stories of child abduction and warnings such as, don’t put your child’s name on shirts, backpacks, etc…This was because a predator could call the name acting like they knew the child.

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There are certainly regrets I have from raising my children but being overprotective isn’t one of them. The regret is my selfishness and not spending more time with them. Don’t get me wrong my two boys gave me some gray hairs.

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One particularly bad day, I was taking a bath and lamenting to our Lord. I use the word “lamenting” because it just sounds better than complaining. Anyway, I was lamenting the fact that I must be a sorry parent because I was having a tough time with these boys. As I continued to groan about my inadequacies, God interrupted my thoughts. He said, “Listen, I’m the perfect parent and look at my children running amuck!” I really didn’t expect God to use a work like “amuck!” I expected something like, “Listen thou, I am thy perfect parent and gaze upon my children sinning endlessly.” But He said “amuck.” Well that got my attention, and I said, “You’re right, Father.” He probably smiled when I said He was right, because He’s always right. He didn’t need me to confirm it. Feeling much better, I thanked Him and seeing as we were chatting already, I asked Him a question. “Father, when you’re talking about your children not always acting like little angels, are you talking about me?” I waited. I asked, “God?” I waited again and still no answer, maybe a chuckle but no answer. Opening my mouth to lament the fact he wouldn’t answer, I realized He was talking about me. He is the perfect parent, and we are his imperfect children. The good news is He loves us imperfections and all...even when we are running “amuck!”

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Father, thank you for loving us through the good and bad times. Amen